Topic of suicide tackled at forum

Kevin Brooks speaks during Thursday’s forum in the WHS gym. (Sean McGowan photo)

Kevin Brooks speaks during Thursday’s forum in the WHS gym. (Sean McGowan photo)

Waterloo school superintendent Brian Charron stood in the Waterloo High School gym Thursday night in front of a group mourning recent tragedies in the community.

In his third year overseeing Waterloo schools, the battle-worn superintendent and his district have faced two events linked to suicide within the semester.

“(The topic of suicide) is a personal one to us, but we know it’s to more than just us,” Charron said.

Members of the Monroe County Coalition for Drug-Free Communities, Regional Superintendent Kelton Davis, Monroe County Coroner Bob Hill and Human Support Services representatives also stood on hand during the suicide prevention forum.

Hill said he has investigated every type of death imaginable. But one area of death investigation particularly tugs at his heart strings, as he understands the pain the family suffers.

“It’s very difficult every time I go to a scene and have to talk to a family about a suicide,” Hill said.

Davis spoke about the urgency in which the schools and community will need to attack the issues they face.

“We need solutions. We need things we can do now,” he said.

National suicide prevention speaker Kevin Brooks, 37, waited patiently at the other end of the gym. Brooks became paralyzed from the waist down after a near-fatal decision to drink and drive at the age of 21.

For Brooks, that accident would serve as the beginning of a long road to transforming his life. Thoughts of suicide would plague him as he laid helplessly in his hospital bed for weeks.

“I remember thinking when no one’s around just pulling the breather out and that would be it,” Brooks said.

Since he began speaking in 2000, Brooks has traveled throughout North America to thousands of middle schools and high schools. He also appeared on a 2007 television episode of Tyra Banks titled “Teens on the Edge: A Wake Up Call.”

The Canadian speaker started off painting a picture of a childhood plagued with difficulty — from drug experimentation to getting arrested for breaking and entering. Brooks also came close to not graduating from high school.

Fast forward to the accident. He hops into his car with his friend Brendon, heading to a party.

“I woke up two weeks after the crash to hear the worst news that I thought I could ever hear in my life,” Brooks said of finding out he would never walk again.

His mom would later tell him Brendon didn’t survive, and then his girlfriend at the time left him.

“We all have our breaking point and that was mine. I wished I was dead every day. I was done. I had nothing left to give,” he said.

Brooks told the audience that depression can sometimes play tricks on people, making them feel lonely.

“We’re not really alone,” Brooks said. “None of us are alone.”

His family and friends wouldn’t allow him to feel alone, nor unloved even as he continued to withdraw.

“I really don’t think there are magic words. You just have to show up,” Brooks said.

Once Brooks changed his perspective, he started searching for what he could do to serve the community — organizing a fundraiser and then speaking at an elementary school about road safety.

He then received a devastating call en route to his second public speaking gig. When he found out his buddy Jordan took his own life, he decided to use that as material for his speech, giving birth to his idea to speak about suicide prevention.

“Holy crap did the box in my email light up that day,” he said.

Brooks said his topic of suicide prevention takes on special meaning to Waterloo, citing the recent suicide death of a high school senior.

“We do need to talk about these things,” Brooks said. “It’s not just going to go away if we pretend it’s not there.”

One of the techniques Brooks shares with schools across North America can be summed up in four words — “Just Wiggle Your Toes.” The goal is that every time a student is about to make a dangerous decision, these words pop in their head to make them reconsider.

“This girl Abby told me her story. For two years, nobody knew she was cutting herself with a razor blade,” Brooks said. “She didn’t know why. She hid it well — wore clothes that covered up the scars.

“One day, she was about to cut herself, but I had this saying, ‘Just wiggle your toes,’ Brooks said. “So she did that and she threw away the blade. I thought, ‘Holy cow, that was amazing.’”

Brooks emphasized in his story that “JWYT” doesn’t solve the core problem, relaying that Abby went on to receive the proper help from counseling. Brooks said another key in suicide prevention is that parents can initiate the difficult conversations with their kids.

“It’s going to be a matter of when we’re at home, having those conversations with our kids,” he said. “Not beating around the bush. Asking those questions — ‘How are you feeling? How are you doing? Are you feeling suicidal?’”

Brooks said a few warning signs of someone at risk of attempting suicide include one or more suicide attempts, a recent attempt or death by a friend or social media posts of razor blades or fresh cuts.

At the end of Brooks’ speech, Anne King, HSS chief program officer, informed attendees that HSS representatives would stay to provide professional assistance and resources. Brooks also stayed to talk to people.

According to Davis, the impressive attendance reflected well on the schools and that the ROE successfully managed a quick turnaround with less than a week’s notice given as to the date of the forum.

“I hope people will leave here today with the idea that it’s OK to ask for help and to seek help,” Davis said. “If we have potentially saved someone tonight — even if it’s just one person — mission accomplished,” Davis said.

Next on the agenda, Davis said, is for stakeholders to come together and plan what 2017 will look like for suicide awareness.

“There are a lot of people that are ready to help and want to help and there are some great ideas on how to help,” Davis said. “We just need to come together and do it.”

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