I recently attended a weekend retreat and a man at my discussion table was bemoaning the decline of manhood in our country.  

Out of empathy, I asked if someone close to him was struggling with this. In fact, he had multiple sons who are doing great in their careers and with their families. His sense of foreboding was more general, a reflection of all the noise on social media and blogs.

I told him I see happy and successful young men all around. They have close and healthy relationships with women that don’t diminish their sense of manhood. I don’t participate in social media or follow any blogs; I just look at the communities within which I participate in person. 

It occurred to me that we selectively see what we want to see. We look to validate our perspective, not contradict it.

Many of us are driven by border security concerns and when you hear of violence committed by someone who legally shouldn’t be here, this justifies your concerns. Others look around their community and see people of different races and dialects working hard at their jobs and taking advantage of the opportunity in this country to lead a peaceful and productive life.

When I see the latter, it makes me proud to be an American.

Some of us hate to see panhandlers. They make us uncomfortable. We resent that they are “using” us instead of getting a job and providing for themselves.  Others are concerned because they suspect something is deeply wrong – loss of a job, loss of family stability, or mental health issues. 

Human life is at risk.

Some of us are angry when we see protests such as “Black Lives Matter” or “No Kings.”  Such protests are a jarring contradiction to our sense of being a loyal patriot. Others are thrilled to see the voice of democracy in action, demanding their government correct wrongs that are opposite the promises of our Constitution.  

I’m a child of the 1960s.  I remember my parents disliking the protests against the Vietnam War and the Civil Rights marches. As I transitioned to adulthood, I saw democracy in action – the people forcing their government to stop an unjustified war. And I saw a government finally stepping up to its promise of equality and unalienable rights. 

Again, this made me proud to be an American.

I came to faith very late in life. It helps to have a life-seasoned perspective vs. being driven by parents to an eighth-grade confirmation. I would’ve told you I never saw Jesus on the rare occasions I went to church. It took a long time for me to realize I wasn’t really looking for Jesus.

On the eve of our celebration of the birth of Jesus, this may be the perfect time to take a step back and think about the perspective we choose. I have learned to see Jesus in every good action of the people around me. I take for granted the support of my close friends and family. What I marvel at is the sincere empathy and concern from people I don’t know that well.

I see Jesus in every action to help a stranger – even just a smile to acknowledge a stranger.

Even more special than seeing the good will of strangers is to be a vessel of that good will yourself.  We are privileged to be infused with the Holy Spirit. Jesus lives within each of us; all we have to do is get out of the way and let Him out.

Is that not the greatest Christmas gift of all?  When we act so that others see Jesus in us it fills us with joy, that simple yet profound word we casually throw around so much during the holiday. It gives us purpose.  To those we touch it gives them hope, which is absolutely essential to push through life difficulties.

Or we can see all the ugliness in our world. We can let it make us judgmental. It will displace joy and hope with fear and despair. And it will make us blind to seeing Jesus.

This is a choice we can and do make, each and every day. As we celebrate Jesus’ birthday, may we all resolve to do our best to look for Him and act as He would.