Did you ever have a friend or family member who was obviously jealous of you, your family, or most humans?
Over the years, I’ve met a few. Whether they were actually jealous of me personally or other people is beside the point.
Let’s admit things before we start casting stones, though. That will make us feel better, won’t it? We all experience jealousy from time to time. Even if it’s not full-blown jealousy, it’s envy. No one can honestly say they don’t deal with it in their hearts from time to time.
But you’ve probably had at least one or two people in your life who are just wired to be jealous. This may stem from some trauma he or she has had early in life. It may have been caused by the way they were raised. Some folks have a competitive spirit and they find such feelings overpowering.
Still, there are some who simply need to be the boss, top dog, first in class, smartest, best, grand-poobah.
Have you met the person who cares for you, wants to be around you and claims to be your loved one, good friend, or close companion? However, this person does not want you to be better. He or she is fine with you as long as you don’t have anything bigger and better or until your accomplishments outshine them.
Very sad, but you know someone like this, don’t you?
These are the same folks who will stand by and give you a compliment, yet when he or she feels you may be getting too many accolades, a comment “bringing you down to size” will be made.
Many times, this person is so good at what they do, you may not realize you got slammed until later. People whose “green eyes” turn on at the drop of a hat are often manipulative and highly skilled at their jabs.
There was a long period of time where I just didn’t want to be around these type of people. Again, they may not be jealous of me personally, but their attitude toward others was not something that made me want to be around them.
Other people felt the same way.
However, as you grow older, you realize we are all flawed and broken people. Everyone is wounded in some way or another. We all have our hang-ups, our little irritations and our idiosyncrasies. To say that you are going to avoid all these people because of their attitudes and outlook on life is to stay you are going to lead a life of isolation. You are fortunate if you have friends or family in your life that do not have a hang-up.
You have to make a decision, especially if you sincerely care for your green-eyed person. Are you going to just be upset with them all the time and avoid them? I mean, after all, there are some people you could be mad at every minute of the day if you allowed it. Or, can you look past these things and give this person grace.
Don’t look now, but many people have given you grace. I gotta tell you, I’m darned thankful for the people who have stuck by me with all my stinkin’ hang-ups.
Thank goodness for grace and mercy.
You are going to have people in your life who just feel threatened. A loved one who is jealous of you will never, ever have your best interest in mind. He or she is probably doing the best they can, and we have to accept it. You have to choose to love them.
Avoiding is also a good coping device. There are times you get a full dose and you just have to step away for a while. But make sure you step back.
Remember what you love about the person and see if you can be forgiving.
Can you tell I’m writing this for self-therapy?