I don’t know about you, but I feel the term “bullying” has gotten way out of hand. I’m pretty sure it goes along with this entitlement jazz so many folks have succumbed to. Agree?
Let me first acknowledge a few things. I believe bullying is a real thing. Most likely from the beginning of the human race, there has been bullying. People pick on others. There is a perceived hierarchy. People are sad. Hurt people hurt others. You get the picture.
It believe it’s a real thing, and I believe we have to be aware of it and deal with it. Bullying has come to the forefront of our schools and workplaces. We are paying much more attention to it than we ever did. For that I am thankful, but only as long as the definition fits. Bullying needs to really be bullying.
I hear my kids coming down the hallway and I often like to turn up my ears and listen to their conversations outside the door. I can hear them arguing about things and more than likely, someone will whine “Stop! You’re bullying me!”
Nope, just arguing with you. That’s not bullying.
Within the last several months, I’ve heard a handful of people talk about their children being bullied. I listen with great interest as I compare notes. Some have legitimate concerns and some are not realistic.
I hear stories of kids getting picked on for things they enjoy, for their choice of hobbies, for their athletic prowess or lack of and for their appearance. Yes, this is bullying. This stuff needs to be reported and this needs to be dealt with.
Old-fashioned folks like me will also say kids will be kids, and this is just the way life is. That’s somewhat true. However, it’s also important that kids are talked to. I’ve seen many a kiddo be talked to and reasoned with regarding their behaviors and they have decided to settle down and do a better job. They start seeing the error of their ways and begin to treat others better. It can happen.
Still, you wouldn’t believe the amount of parents who will say kids are bullied on a regular basis. Upon closer inspection and with numerous accounts from people who have observed, the kid who is complaining about the bullying is dishing it out as much as he’s getting it. You can usually isolate (to see if everyone’s story lines up) a few folks, get their opinion on things and come to the conclusion on the truth.
Some kids who complain of bullying are an only child. They are spoiled rotten. When they get into a social setting in which they are not top dog, or a setting in which adults don’t give in to their every little whim, they complain that they feel picked on and bullied. Bull.
Still, there are kids whose parents are imbeciles. These parents raise their children with no social skills, no manners, and respond to their children in immature ways. These parents talk to their children horribly and never correct them or model any sort of positive behavior. So, the kids raised by imbeciles go out into society, treating others with disrespect and a general smart aleck approach to life. They are jerks. They do not think of others. They respond to other people poorly.
Other people respond negatively. These junior imbeciles get talked to negatively by those who don’t appreciate their behavior. Yes, sometimes these junior imbeciles even get picked on.
I don’t know about you, but I think some of them might bring it upon themselves. Society often tries to correct the inadequate way these kids were raised.
Some parents are messed up when it comes to priorities. They may do many things that are correct when raising a kid, but they forget about paying attention to the way their kids behave. They turn a blind eye to talking to kids about how to conduct themselves in public and how to treat others. They don’t have conversations.
There was a longtime “friend” of a group of people I know. This “friend” was included in the group’s activities, mostly because he was the type of person who just didn’t fit in. The group was charitable to this guy and tried to include him and make him feel like one of the bunch. However, when they were all together, this guy constantly bragged about himself and made fun of the others. He put them down for things they didn’t know how to do. Once, he even tried to date one of the girlfriends of someone else in the group.
And so the group of buddies said adios. They no longer asked the guy to do things with them.
The reaction? Poor me. My friends no longer include me. I don’t know why. They must be terrible people to kick me out of the group.
Did you ever know anyone like this? Often, these people who are getting “bullied” are somewhat narcissistic. Sometimes they are control freaks who simply can’t get their way. These are the same people, as adults, who say someone is “being mean to them” when they can’t get their way.
It’s hard for them to own up to anything. They want to point fingers and play the pitiful victim.
Folks who cry “bully” yet simply aren’t being bullied need to face themselves and do a personality check. Are they really the victim?
Let’s leave the label “bullying” to the real cases. Let’s focus on the bullying cases that are true and authentic and let’s take care of it.
The rest of you need to just shape up and take a good, hard look at yourselves.