Over the past Christmas season, I found myself reflecting on a lesser known part of the story of Jesus’ birth. 

Upon learning of the birth, King Herod ordered the killing of all boys ages 2 and younger in the region of Bethlehem.  With what is known as the “Massacre of the Innocents,” he wanted to eliminate a potential rival king.

I tried to imagine what it was like to be one of Herod’s men “just following orders.” Did they go home to their wife at night and talk about having a good day? “We got 29 of the little buggers today.”  

Or did they find it hard to live with what they did?  As a side note: Joseph, Mary and Jesus fled to Egypt as foreigners seeking asylum.

Moral injury is deep psychological distress from actions, inactions or witnessing events that shatter one’s core moral beliefs, leading to intense shame, guilt, self-condemnation and spiritual crisis. It is common with military personnel and first responders.

Governments often put people in situations that make them vulnerable to moral injury, ordering them to do things they cannot reconcile with their moral beliefs. I have some very good friends who idealistically met their call to serve in the military and defend our country. Some see every loss they experience in their family as punishment for what they did answering the call of duty.

The “Greatest Generation” that won World War II came home and struggled with depression and alcoholism. Vietnam vets succumbed to drug addiction.  We didn’t even honor them when they came home – we called them “baby killers.”

As our president began deploying National Guard troops to cities at the slightest provocation, I thought back to May 4, 1970.  Ohio National Guardsmen opened fire on college students protesting the Vietnam War, killing four and wounding nine.  

Were they proud of themselves and did they brag about what they did?  Or did they experience periodic nightmares that can’t be stopped by rationales about doing one’s duty?

Now we have platoons of ICE agents attacking neighborhoods.  These play soldiers wear masks, are heavily armed, and have zero accountability for what they do.  

Like Herod’s soldiers, I try to imagine the conversations when they go home at night. “Hey honey, I got to shoot a woman in the head today and I’m not even in trouble for it.” 

Or do they think about the families wondering what happened to the dad that was detained and isn’t coming home. Do they feel the satisfaction of a “job well done” after they drag a mother away from her kids she just dropped off at school?

There are many members of Congress – including our own U.S. Rep. Mike Bost (R-Murphysboro) – who almost daily are called to uphold their oath to protect the Constitution and put a stop to executive power abuse.  Instead, they stay silent and don’t act in order to keep their jobs or keep their political party in power. 

I wonder what they think about in their private moments, staring in the dark in the middle of the night.  Is it pride, or self-loathing?

Liz Cheney and Adam Kinsinger, both Republicans, met their responsibility to investigate the Jan. 6, 2021 insurrection and lost their political lives for it. However, they’re doing just fine. I suspect they are feeling something far better than moral injury as they continue their fight against this administration in the spirit of fulfilling their oath to defend the Constitution.

I recently watched the movie “Nuremburg” about the Nuremburg trials after World War II, prosecuting Nazi leaders for war crimes. These trials established an important international legal precedent that “following orders” was not a defense for war crimes.

Also recently, six members of Congress, all with military service records, issued a video message reminding U.S. military personnel that they have a responsibility to defy immoral orders or those that violate our Constitution.

Even legal military orders can cause moral injury. I have always prayed for those who serve our country and suffer from the sometimes-impossible situations we put them in.  

Working for ICE, or members of Congress who pander to this president, are a different story. They have a choice. They can find another job they can live with in peace.

Average Americans daily confront issues and do the right thing even if it is the hardest thing. It is not the “pot calling the kettle black” to expect those entrusted in government jobs to do the right thing or quit if you can’t.  

None of us are immune to moral injury. We each have to live with our action or inaction, our acceptance or refusal to accept what our government is doing.  

Do the weak rationales still salve your conscience about what our government is doing? Where is your line in the sand that would provoke you to say “Enough?”