Shoelaces | Mark’s Remarks

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We count our blessings every day, hopefully.  

I sometimes have a pretty optimistic attitude and keep my blessings and thankfulness in close proximity. Other days, I have a pity party or walk around in a grumpy state. I guess that’s just human nature.

I really hate to shop. I’m not patient when it comes to shopping. I wish I could walk into a computerized closet like the Jetsons used to and be dressed impeccably or have flawless clothes. Buying new stuff, just the sheer decision making, causes me heartache and stress.

Some of you will understand this. I have about five pairs of dressy shoes that I rotate from time to time when I go to work. I would prefer to go with comfort at all times, and I’ve managed to get a pretty good comfort level for these four pairs of shoes.

However, by some weird stroke of luck or perhaps some type of biblical level shoe-plague, the three pairs of “lace up” shoes have faulty laces in them.  

I really think there is some sinister little person (in my mind’s eye, sinister people are little and sneaky.  No offense to little people.) running around shoe factories or shoe stores. This person rips out quality laces and replaces them with crappy laces. I’m sure of it.

Men have few choices when it comes to shoes, and thank God for that. I always need a black pair of shoes, a dark brown and a light brown pair. That’s about all I need. A pair of tennis shoes, a couple of casual loafer styles maybe.  

I bought a nice black pair of shoes not too long ago. They were of a relatively trendless style that I hoped would last me a while. Nondescript. Black shoes. Almost from the get go, the laces were flimsy and started to pill up. 

At about the fifth wearing of these shoes (I really probably only wear them about twice every six months), one of the laces broke. Because I hate shopping and messing with such piddly things, I tied it back together and relaced it.  Now, when I wear those shoes, I am careful to tugged lightly around the repaired lace. They are about three years old.  Maybe five.

Same thing with my brown boots. Cream colored laces, crapola quality.  Every time I wear them, I pulled gingerly on the area that is almost threadbare, tighten it up, and pull carefully to cinch up the shoe.  It’s getting dicey, though.

My third and most dependable pair of shoes that I’d prefer to wear every day have finally betrayed me as well. This time, the casing around the outside of the inner lace has decided to break and inch up the lace, sort of like an accordion.  So, I pull it down now, cinch and tug. It’s only a matter of time and I am getting concerned.

So, bound and determined to solve my dilemma and remove this stress from my life, I have decided to invest in three good pairs of shoe laces (my other pairs of shoes are the loafers I mentioned and also the always dependable athletic shoes). I went on Amazon and began to pick my way through the choices. Not as bad as actual shopping, but almost.

Even though the selection process is ridiculously important, tedious and time consuming to me, I am relentless and there will come a day when I get these fabulous, heavy duty laces in the neat little Amazon box.  

I never thought I’d be so full of anticipation and thankfulness for a few pairs of shoelaces. But I tell you, I feel it will change my daily routine. I feel as though I will have a whole new lease on life. Not having to “baby” these shoelaces on an everyday basis will be like a shot in the arm.  

Don’t make fun of me.  I know for a fact there are those of you as excited as I am to have new shoelaces.

Admit it.

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