A firm handshake | Mark’s Remarks

I was asked by my daughter why people lie.  It really surprised me that a 9-year-old would ask such a question. 

You may guess why she asked, considering the main topic in our house the last few days.  We’ve heard differing viewpoints, arguing, and downright dishonesty.  The look on her face said it all: How can the people we are supposed to trust lie to us?

I tried to explain things as best I could. In a sense, I said most people are pretty trustworthy in many ways.  But I also told her that many honest people tell small lies to keep themselves out of trouble – whether it be something big or simply to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. 

How are you supposed to tell someone you don’t like their new shoes if they actually ask the question “Do you like my new shoes?” I really think people don’t need to be asking such questions, myself. 

We talked about trusting Jesus, about trusting and believing His word, and all the things about trust we’d heard at church. Even with all that we’ve been taught and with all we truly believe, you can’t automatically trust everyone at church either.  

There was also some talk about the difference between lying and deception, which she also heard on television. I said that I thought deception was someone actually planning and working to get you to believe something that wasn’t true, whether it be a big thing or a small thing.  

You aren’t necessarily being deceptive when you tell your aunt that her rice pudding tastes good when she says “How does it taste?”  

Don’t ask that question!

Trust is something we need as the anchor or foundation for everything we do. Friendships, work environment, dating, raising families and so on. You know as well as I do how open, honest and forthright endeavors usually work out well. But I also know that being able to trust an earthly being completely is somewhat of a pipedream.  

It’s a shame, but it’s true.  How many completely honest and trustworthy people can you name?  

And remember, start with yourself. I can tell you right now that I am often a completely dishonest person. I try to keep my patootie out of trouble all day long.

We lie to ourselves, we exaggerate, we tell fibs to get out of having to do something. I even think we all have it within us to deceive, big or small.

Long, long ago, a firm handshake was as good as a contract. In many cultures, there are strict penalties for lying. Perjury is punishable.  

“Are those people being honest, Dad?” she asked me again after I explained what was allegedly going on during the counting of ballots. 

“Are they really doing something wrong?”  

I had to say that I didn’t know for sure.

Indeed, who or what do we believe anymore? I’ll bet Walter Kronkite would throw a fit if he could see what was going on with news and journalism these days. Still, many people say the media is telling the truth; always. I ask you; how do we get a straight answer out of anyone?

Any advice you can give me to explain our world to my kid?

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Mark Tullis

Mark is a 25-year veteran teacher teaching in Columbia. Originally from Fairfield, Mark is married with four children. He enjoys reading, writing, and spending time with his family, and has been involved in various aspects of professional and community theater for many years and enjoys appearing in local productions. Mark has also written a "slice of life" style column for the Republic-Times since 2007.
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