I thought I had published one of these lists every year since 2019 but upon further research, I discovered that might not have been the case.  

I found “first annual” and “second annual” but I didn’t find the others. So, I’ll just call it my annual list because even if it is not listed in this column, it’s in my head.

I made my list this year, and the list seems to have one encompassing theme that pretty much covers the whole thing: attitudes.

Now, notice I didn’t say anything about people.  You can’t just automatically not like people because they have an attitude about something. If that were common practice, no one would like me.  I come and go with attitudes, change my mind, own my flaws and so forth. I’m grumpy about things that everyone else thinks are OK.  

So no, I’m thankful for not being disliked for my attitude.

At the top of my “non-thankful” list is the attitude that older folks, especially those with health issues, aren’t important anymore.  When some people find out an older person is no longer able to be on their own and need constant help, they write them off. 

In the last five years, I have suddenly become acquainted or involved with older folks who are in a period of decline. The attitude that these folks won’t get any better may be accurate and true, but does that mean we should just disregard them?  

I know at least a half-dozen people who suffer from dementia or Alzheimer’s, something they can’t help, and time and time again I watch family members grow impatient with them, disregard their feelings, and generally treat them as if they aren’t present.  

As one family was going through memorabilia, an extended family member decided to read private details from a dementia patient’s journal, aloud, for the amusement of those gathered. I thought that was tacky and uncouth, especially considering the content of the entry and since the person who wrote the words was in the next room.  

Have some respect.  Don’t you know any better?

Our job with these people is to make them as comfortable as possible.  It’s not our job to think of ourselves, our own amusement, and how they are inconveniencing us. We also need to talk with them, have conversations, and listen to things they’ve told us over and over.  We need to help them avoid confusion as much as possible.

Come on. Don’t they deserve a little care?

So, I’m not thankful for the attitude that we don’t have to mind our manners around people who can’t help what has befallen them.

The attitude of impatience is another thing I am not thankful for. I recently finished a part-time job in which I worked with several people who wanted everything right this minute. It was a little like teaching school, a little like dealing with parents who only saw their child’s perspective.  

It seemed as if the office staff was sitting there, waiting for people to drop in for a chat or see what their every whim entailed.  At times, some of those folks almost seemed like bullies. 

Whatever they were in the office for was the most important thing, and anything that caused any inconvenience or discomfort was complained about, much like I’m doing now.  Whatever they were in charge of was more important than anything else.  Their top interest should have been everyone else’s top priority, too. Rarely was there a positive word or acknowledgment, just a somewhat demanding, pessimistic attitude among a group of people who should have known better.  

Some on our office staff were in charge of making visits to hospitals or places where people needed a visit.  Much of the time, I’d hear “Why aren’t they out visiting people?” and then, when someone popped into the office unannounced or without an appointment, they would fuss because the person they needed to talk to wasn’t there right this minute (because they were out making the aforementioned visits).

It’s impossible to make everyone happy.

You can lump “selfishness” in there with the word “impatience.” They go hand in hand.

I’m still not totally out of the “judging parents” season of life, even after being retired from teaching for a couple years.  I admire parents who lovingly keep their kids in line, but over and over, I see fussy little toddlers not wanting to cooperate and I see parents losing their cool.  

Now look, I know we all lose our cool sometimes, but as parents, we have to sometimes take a deep breath and calm down a bit.  If we DO lose our cool, we have to follow up and admit wrong doing.  It’s OK to show your kid that you have flaws.

But I’ve observed parents being so out of line lately that I’m disheartened.  One little boy, obviously a handful, was having a hard time one day. He was obviously tired or hungry, but instead of being somewhat gentle to the kid, the father yelled – way too loudly – that he was going to “pop the kid” on the patootie if he didn’t straighten up.  

Again, I’m a fan of discipline and a “pop” once in a while, but don’t lose your cool and announce to the parking lot at Walmart how you’re going to take care of things.  

You’re teaching that kid disrespect and he’s going to repeat that pattern.

Perhaps the thing at the top of my non-thankful list comes from the world of politics. What has happened to us? Our country is so divided, and everyone wants to blame one person or a handful of people, or indeed, a large group.  

I’m not thankful for this stubbornness, this complete disdain for listening and pondering. When our country was founded, we had a group of basic core values that everyone, even if they disagreed, adhered to. Sure, people argued and carried on like they do now, but they listened to one another and weren’t strangers to compromise. 

Nobody agrees to disagree anymore. We can’t go on closing our ears and minds, and we certainly can’t go on hating people for their opinions.  

When we actually count our blessings, of which I have plenty, we need to be on our knees praying for this world, our country, and for one another. I am very thankful for the people who take a pause once in a while, look at the big picture, and think how things could be different if they were a little more understanding, a little less selfish, and a little more respectful and just focused on more positive things.  

I look at those people and think how much happier and calmer they most likely are, and I hope to be like them; because you see, I’m not real thankful for my own heart sometimes. I get too caught up in how others behave and what others are doing to make things difficult. 

I’m just like many of the people I’ve complained about.

We could all use an attitude adjustment.