When You Least Expect It | Mark’s Remarks

It’s amazing when you talk to people and find out some of the stuff they’ve been through.

We were in a group of people not long ago, and after a period of time we learned of the loss of a child, a terrible divorce from an abusive spouse, the loss of both parents from a car accident, bankruptcy, and various sicknesses. It seemed that each person in the room had been touched by some serious illness, whether personally or through a family member. Michelle and I oohed and ahhed, shook our heads and tsked tsked.

One of the people in the room looked at us and said “Didn’t you have a little one who survived brain cancer?” Yep, that’s us.

We spent some time talking about the things God helps us through in life. All of us agreed that the initial shock is probably the worst part. After that, depending on the circumstances, there are several ways to deal with what you have to go through.

Yes, the initial news is not easy to take.

“The mass your child has in her head is cancerous.”

That’s what we were told. Numbness took over and we did what we had to do. Countless people can tell you how they felt the moment they heard the news of some tragedy or a hurdle they would have to face.

Shock. Rejection. The word “no” comes to mind and you want to shout it from the rooftops.

There have been plenty of times that, in my evil, hard-hearted way, I have wished people knew how easy they had it.

I’ve heard parents talk about how their children have kept them up at night or how one of their children has to have tubes put in their ears (been there, done that). I’ve often muttered the words “They should have real problems.”

But that’s not really fair. When we have obstacles or happenings in our lives that make us fearful, it’s all the same, regardless of the degree of difficulty. I wouldn’t wish an ill child on my worst enemy, and even people who seem rather “spoiled” in life, who whine about silly little things; well, I wouldn’t wish anything ill on them either.

Those of you who have been through tough times can back me up here: going through trials changes your perspective. Am I right? When you live through terror, through excruciating fear, and through any type of tragedy, you recognize things about your life. You change. You get a different perspective.

We never know when this type of stuff will happen. Trials, problems and obstacles are almost a given. Rare is the person who hasn’t had something happen that requires more than day to day living. If you think that your life has been pretty easy, I guarantee a trial is coming soon.

I think many of us feel success is when everything is pretty, comfortable and rather easy. But when you live through trials, you look at it from the other end and realize that God allowed things to happen the way they did in order to draw you closer to Him. Some people do, some don’t. I won’t try to be pious here; sometimes it’s stinkin’ hard to get over the anger and the sorrow.

It’s all hard. People get mad at God sometimes.

I don’t mean to be depressing at all as I write this column, but I do want to point out that our lives will not remain rosy at all times; just when we think things are peachy, we have some sort of trial that we face. Sure, going through these times can be good for us. We learn. We can become wiser. We have testimonies to share with other people.

How many times have you heard “God won’t give you anything you can’t handle?” I don’t know who coined that, but I have never thought much of that phrase. I don’t agree. I believe God wants us to turn to Him in ALL things, not just trials we go through.

When we do, we are enormously blessed. Turning to God can make HUGE hurdles surmountable. I speak from experience and there are plenty of folks who will agree.

There are so many tragedies we hear about on a daily basis. I’m sure none of these people expected any of it. How could they? The shock and the way things can rock our worlds are often devastating.

Much of the time, prayer is all we have. We must believe that it makes a difference. Turning to God in these times can make an enormous difference.

It is something I strongly believe.

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Mark Tullis

Mark is a 25-year veteran teacher teaching in Columbia. Originally from Fairfield, Mark is married with four children. He enjoys reading, writing, and spending time with his family, and has been involved in various aspects of professional and community theater for many years and enjoys appearing in local productions. Mark has also written a "slice of life" style column for the Republic-Times since 2007.
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